"I was born with a penchant for sadness" - Happy Rhodes
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An almost insatiable curiosity seems to be an undeniable aspect of most people's intellectual makeup. Not only do they want to acquire information and, perhaps, even a smidgen of philosophical musing, but they also seem to want to discover more about those who attempt to provide these things.
Thus it is that most web sites contain an 'about' or 'me' section in order to provide a means by which such curiosity can be satisfied - for a time at least.
Who am I to
fly in the face of convention? Below is a little about myself which
may, or may not, go partway towards answering that particular question.
[NB. Contents subject to change.]
Who am I? Seemingly a simple question when taken at face value, however it would be presumptuous to assume that such is the reality of things - there are always destined to be complexities which lurk beneath the veneer of what we see. To ask the question again, who am I? A simple answer? Nobody. A more extensive response? Nobody. Strange how one word can be used to sum up an entire existence.
But somehow I suspect that one such as you would not be content with such a concise summary, so let me elucidate further. People have often commented that they don't know me or that I am a 'dark horse' - this is something that I am disinclined to deny. At an early age I learnt that it was prudent to protect myself by concealing my darker interpretations of reality beneath carefully constructed artifices so as not to make those around me uncomfortable, nor to give them an excuse to point at and mock that which they didn't understand. This did not always work and, as a result, I have often been referred to as being 'different' - a term I have grown to despise for its inanity. Still, the carefully contrived masks and solidly constructed walls proved to be reliable protection against much that the world chose to fling at me over the years.
Do not think that this means that I spend all my time languishing alone in some draughty attic - I have many associates and acquaintances. Hell, I can even be the life of a party, causing much merriment with my cartoon-like antics. However, there are a few people I consider to be friends and for whom I remove most of the masks and walls, but only a few. It seems that I still can not override my fear of frightening people by revealing my true self and so I tend to stand apart from others. This tendency is not helped by the fact that fate appears to wish to deny me contentment and so, when I really begin to care for someone and dare to call them 'friend', bitter circumstance takes them from me. Still, I endure. I may grieve but I endure. Though I sometimes fear that this makes me much more intense in nature than I intend to be. Intensity frightens people - so isn't it best that I stand aside and pretend to be what they want me to be?
And why this picture on the right? Am I trying to delude you into thinking that I am a blonde? Or is there some deeper significance in providing this image? I believe that, for the moment I shall leave that a mystery.
And with this mystery I shall conclude this brief foray into self examination.