Like many people, a visit to the dentist is not very high on my list of fun things to do, but it is still, unfortunately, a necessity at times. Below is a poem I wrote after one such visit, once I had recovered from the trauma. Names, of course, have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
The Tooth Is Out There
[A Gothic Tale]
Brodiss © 2003Though there are some who call me brave
I must admit I did rant and rave
When my mouth it did start to pain
And I realised it's a toothache again.
To the dentist I had to wend my way
On a grey, gloomy and overcast day.
'Twas my fate to face that which I dread
If I wished to soothe the pain in my head.With my hands all damp and trembling
I dared to give the dentist a ring
To try and arrange myself a time -
Not that the event would be sublime -
When I could visit my dentist's lair
And ensconce myself within her chair
In an effort to escape the face ache
That proved chocolate is a mistake.The date was set, sealing my dread fate,
A time for which I dared not be late
For fear that my terror should grow
Until I couldn't force myself to go
And confront all those needles and drills
That gave me all those shakes and chills
As I lay trapped in that damned room
That echoed with whispers of my doom.At last the destined day drew nigh
No joyous birds danced in the sky
For dark were the clouds, and heavy too
As I drove up at quarter past two -
And I beg of you not to get shirty
If I resist the joke of 2:30
As it does not suit this atmosphere
Of mortal dread and soul-eating fear.And as I stepped through the sliding door
My heart it did ache so very sore
For fear of what I would find there
Lurking near the dentist's dread chair.
The receptionist smiled, showing off her teeth,
I suspect it was just to give me grief
For her teeth, so straight and so white,
Make mine seem as black as night.Three cups of water I gulped down
Causing the receptionist to frown
So meekly then I took a seat
And stared fixedly at my feet.
The sound of the clock upon the wall
Loudly around my ears began to fall
As each tick marked off the time
Before I'd pay for my sweet-toothed crime.I sat in solitude within the room
Sadly contemplating my certain doom
And then, at last, it was my turn.
My stomach began to madly churn
As slow, I rose to my shaky feet
And turned to the dentist, her to greet,
Hiding fear behind much bravado
While feeling green like an avocado.She smiled sweetly, beckoning me in
To her innermost dental sanctorum.
I knew I had no place to run
As this was something that must be done
And so I meekly followed her lead
And to her wishes I quietly cede.
Strange to think that one so petite
Should one such as me quickly defeat.And as that final door slid shut
I felt as if my throat'd been cut
As I was isolated from the outside world
And my immediate future unfurled.
Melissa, for that's my dentist's name,
Returned her attentions to me again
And, placing her hand upon my arm,
Spoke to me in tones soft and calm.She directed me towards the monstrous chair
And waited for me to be seated there.
Then with gentle hands she strapped me in
Leaned over and gave me a wicked grin
And whispered in tones seductive,
"Now I'm sure this'll be most instructive.
I would like you to open your mouth wide
For I wish to take a look inside."Fervently I began to wish it wasn't real
As, with implements of burnished steel,
She began to poke and prod with vigour -
Certain she'd make my mouth bigger
If she continued on in this way
So I decided to call it a day
But found I couldn't be heard
Around the cotton swabs so furred."A cavity," Melissa cried in delight,
Almost stopping my heart with fright.
She grinned at her partner in crime
And said, "I think it's drilling time
So if you'd be so kind to help me
As I perform my art of dentistry."
With a nod, Selina turned away
To where her tools of torture lay.She then made such a din and clatter
It would have made my teeth chatter
If my mouth hadn't been full of metal.
"Now this won't hurt much at all,"
Said my dentist with a wry grin,
"Not after we get the needle in."
Hearing 'needle', I began to fret
And my brow became covered with sweat.And then I begin to get most depressed
As she placed her knee upon my chest
And, wielding a needle five miles long,
Said, "Now I want you to be strong.
This will only take a little while."
Then, with a most blissful smile
She lunged and drove the needle in.
To describe the pain I cannot begin.As red-hot pain lanced through my head
I fervently wished I was dead
But at last the dreaded deed was done
And my mouth became comfortably numb.
I knew it made me droop and drool,
Made me look like some kind of fool,
But at least I would feel no pain
When dental attention was on me again.Still, I felt that old familiar chill
Soon as I heard the whir of the drill.
And, as Melissa plied her trade,
I wished 'twas on the beach I laid
Instead of in that big dental chair
Mussing all up the back of my hair;
Away from that damned suction thing
That to my lip decided to cling.Then, just as I thought I would choke,
With a cheerful prod and poke,
The dentist stopped all her drilling -
Not that I had found it thrilling -
And with a calm gaze held steady
Pronounced that the cavity was ready.
Then Selina, with a deadly smile
Mixed some amalgam for awhile.Some more poking and then a prod
And then my tooth was safely shod
In a casing that snugly fit
So I was able to rinse and spit
My ordeal over until another day.
I knew I'd soon be on my way
And so I clambered from off the chair
And bid adieu to the dental pair.Now, after relating this tale of woe,
I must admit, in truth, before I go
That my dentist really is quite gentle
And isn't trying to drive me mental.
So, in six months, I'll return once more
To see if any new holes she must bore.
Still I do hope one day she'll say,
"So many teeth, so little decay."
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Return to Main page.Mangled Avocado. © 2002 by Brodiss. All Rights reserved.