you,
yes you,
with the flashing eyes and beguiling smile
you said you were the real thing
but you lied
with syrupy words filled with saccharine emotion
you said you were real
and I,
I was desperate enough to believe
to think you cared
even when I saw the truth
saw the low-fat no cream reality
I believed
made myself believe
clung with quiet desperation to your hollow words,
your hollow smiles,
your hollow wiles
I tried to see me in your eyes
with the dread of the damned
I tried to keep hold of the illusion
wanted it to become my reality.
put my own words in your mouth
vainly hoping it would make them real
but the ashes are in my mouth
not yours
dry and gritty
they choke me with their honesty
making me gag on the knowledge
that I am the once again betrayed.
was it too much to ask?
for no lies,
no sneaking behind my back while pretending to really care,
no false promises,
no user association,
no empty words,
futile hope of a futile dope.
I am nothing to you
and I always was.
no sunshine in the park,
no waves slipping softly across the shore
I was nothing but a momentary distraction
in the game you play to amuse yourself
on those rainy days,
hazy days,
lazy days
when you've nothing better to do
a dalliance in a drought
you thought it fun to watch me dance to your tune.
affected laughter amusement
of the callous kind.
you expected me to play your game
but neglected to mention the rules
and then
"loser, loser, you lose"
you mocked my clumsy ham-fisted attempts to please.
I handed you my soul in trust
in horror I watched you
carelessly rend it asunder
then nonchalantly toss the tattered,
the battered fragments
in my face.
why did I believe in you?